Honesty V

Honesty Part V

Laying here thinking about contradiction so I sit up and think about something different. Life’s a gas, isn’t it? Not as in funny but as in the gas you pass after years of bad food. Might sound crude but to others, true. But not new. I’m not trying to be original by saying life’s a waste. It’s been said, sung, and displayed, and more each day in new ways. Like when you turn on your TV. and see how many soldiers died today. Or when you step over a beggar in the street asking for change. Life’s not a maze. It’s not a puzzle. It’s a straight fucking line, birth to burial. What you do in between will just make the time seem more meaningful. More bearable. Less terribly mundane and painful. Drain-full. Of life. Why am I so fucking obsessed with it? When I’m only trying to make the best of it. So I can live the rest of it under some sense of peace and false benefit. Delusion-ment. At least I’m not crazy enough to think I was heaven sent. Or will be sent back. In fact, will be escorted back with angels on my sides and God in my grasp. Loads of crap. So something to take pride in is that I'm not that. Thank God! Or maybe I'm thinking about contradiction again. Cause thanking God, I haven’t been. Praying each night, haven’t been. Believing anything outside this life exists at all, haven’t been. Won’t be. Won’t need. Won’t see the need to believe in such a thing. Won’t live my life like I'm in some dream that was created for me to choose what I want to be by something I can’t see. Simple really. Really fucking easy.