Willing And Able

Willing And Able

She wants me to be someone I’m not.

And to that I’m willing and able.

Since the moment she left me alone

I’ve been more than unstable.

I only saw one bright star in the sky.

Now you couldn’t imagine a darker night.

Hoped that star might still be in her eye.

But I see now she must have no sight.

I’m creeping ever closer to a straight edge.

Don’t look up and just take the step.

With love there’s the danger of being on this ledge.

I was just hoping it would be something I kept.

Emptiness is the biggest understatement.

I wish to only feel that simple.

Darkness is my true discontent.

And the waking hours are ample.

She wants me to be something I’m not.

And I would do it in an instant.

If she’d given me a chance I’d have shown.

I wouldn’t feel as if less than an infant. 

My Torture

My Torture

It’s always the same thing

Why can’t you change?

I should ask for some closure

But I won’t make you my torture

They say we can work it out

But they just talk to loud

They’re just looking for exposure

But I won’t make you my torture

If you’re done messing with my mind

I’d like to go on with my life

Please don’t come any closer

Cause I won’t make you my torture

No Name #1

No Name #1

If you got feelings

Keep them to yourself

If you got a secret

Please don’t tell

If you got a worry

You’ll be fine

If you’ve got pains

Just give it time

No I’m not the one

You were waiting for

You must have made a mistake

No I’m not the one

What are you crying for?

You act like your hearts about to break

If you want money

I don’t have a lot

If you want company

I’ll give it a shot

If you want love

I did my best

If you want a friend

Find someone else

No I’m not the one

Don’t want you anymore

Can’t you hear what I say?

No I’m not the one

Please close the door

And walk away

Guilty

Guilty

If you can find someone else

Then they must deserve you more then myself

I had to have made mistakes

Too many to count or debate

But I’m only guilty of loving you

Too much, too much

Yes, I’m only guilty of loving you

Too much, too much

I think I’m only guilty of loving you

Too much, too much

Yes, I’m only guilty of loving you

Too much, too much

The secrets in the way that you speak

Your words were so violent to me

Patience was all you did need

But your torture was waiting for me

But I’m only guilty of loving you

Too much, too much

Yes, I’m only guilty of loving you

Too much, too much

I think I’m only guilty of loving you

Too much, too much

Yes, I’m only guilty of loving you

Too much, too much

You have cast my stone

I’ve never felt so alone

We used to be as one

Now I just blend the day and night

It looks as if, im the bad guy

When my only fault is none at all

If it makes me guilty, I deserve to fall

But I’m only guilty of loving you

Too much, too much

Yes, I’m only guilty of loving you

Too much, too much

I think I’m only guilty of loving you

Too much, too much

Yes, I’m only guilty of loving you

Too much, too much

I'm Going Down

I’m Going Down

Take a break, take some time

Can’t get failure off my mind

Its gunna end when I die            

So why take a chance

Why even try, I know which way is down

I know I can but I probably won’t

Even though I can think I usually don’t

And I feel like I’m caught in a sad, sad joke

But no matter what its all gunna

End the same so what

You say you know me but you don’t

How come you can’t help me to cope

I’ve been so lost in my self

While you’ve been lost in someone else

It doesn’t matter anymore

All alone as the pain sets in

All I can do is just give in

I cannot fight it anymore

Dieing to see some golden door

I know it’s just a dream

I know which way is down

Ridiculous Nervousness

Ridiculous Nervousness

Simple complexities get me down

Going in circle around town

East, west, north, south

Simple complexities get me down

I’m rising above the ground

Trying to see what’s around

But I can’t

Quiet nuisances freak me out

Sometimes I’d rather shout out loud

Quiet nuisances freak me out

Sometimes its hard when you can’t

Hear a sound

Simple complexities get me down

Quiet nuisances freak me out

Outsider

Outsider

I’m an outsider

I don’t stay in

I give you a frown

You give me a grin

I can’t fit in

I’m an outsider

I don’t stay in

You stand so high

I feel so thin

I will never win

Is it so wrong to want to be myself?

I keep going on feeling sorry for myself

I’m an outsider

I don’t stay in

I give you a frown

You give me a grin

I can’t fit in

I Must Be Losing You

I Must Be Losing You

I’m all alone.

And it doesn’t feel like home.

All I want is the time for some

Holding close like we’ve never done.

I can’t control what’s happening

With every breath I’m struggling

I’ve never wanted something

So much that it felt like nothing

I feel like I’m losing you

I feel like I’m losing you

I feel like I’m losing you

Because I lost myself

I want you to save me from this

I need to feel your warm kiss

It hurts just to think of it

But defeat I can’t admit

I lay awake so sorrowful

Sometimes the pains so powerful

I’d cry if I thought it could help

If it meant seeing you, I would kill

I feel like I’m losing you

I feel like I’m losing you

I feel like I’m losing you

Because I lost myself

Everyday it gets harder to wake up

And I try to just think that this is enough

As if you could wait, as if I could get it right

Looks like I’m here all alone for another night

I feel like I’m losing you

I feel like I’m losing you

I feel like I’m losing you

Because I lost myself

Because I’ve already lost myself

California Spectrum

California Spectrum

You smoke your cigarettes

Pour a class of regrets

Sit down in your favorite place

Wipe all looks from your face

But that don’t mean

You’re gunna escape

I can tell you’re hiding you

I can see you’re aim ain’t true

You can claim they mean more

But your demons aren’t scarier

No body will accept

A broken mess

Life is a puzzle with

Pieces taken out

So before you die just

Make a sound

No one is evil and

No one is saved

But just speak up before

You’re in that grave

You’re a diamond in the rough

You think that is enough

You may have it figured out

You don’t show any doubt

But that don’t mean

It won’t crash down

Crowds of people look up to you

You must believe it’s true

Counting on lady luck

So you won’t get stuck

No body will accept

When you know it all

5.6.5.6 (Always Racing)

5.6.5.6. (Always Racing)

This race against time

It is killing my back

Searching for a sign

Passing highways of black

This race against growth

I’m slowly vanishing

I might peak at most

But the end won’t save me

This race against love

God, it is so tiring

Pulling me back in

While pushing me away

This race against life

I could never succeed

For all of my strife

There’s only more waiting

This race against sound

It is so deafening

Words fall to the ground

Losing all their meaning

This race against trust

It could blind you so quick

Looking up to much

You’ll miss the rest of it

Painful Pictures

Painful Pictures

Don’t mind me

I’m just dealing with a broken heart

She set me free

And all I can do is fall apart

She smiles alone

And the pain is something I can’t take

I pick up the phone

Just to set it down and drop my face

I must get out

I’m filled with doubt

Since you left me

I just can’t see

Your eyes they speak

While my eyes they leak

I am a mess

Just end all this

Her words are stones

Bouncing off of my feather chest

She breaks my bones

I used to be at my best

I call her bluff

But time has taken all I can win

This is enough

Only to start it all over again

I must get out

I’m filled with doubt

Since you left me

I just can’t see

Your eyes they speak

My eyes they leak

I am a mess

Just end all this

Don’t mind me

I’m just dealing with a broken heart